The Guilt of "Not Knowing"

Last year, during a casual visit with my aunt, I discovered one of my cousins had been incarcerated for months.  My initial response, "I didn't know."

Months later, during a long overdue conversation with my college girlfriend, she casually mentioned, "You know I was diagnosed with cancer," and my immediate response, "Oh, no, I didn't know!"

Earlier this summer, while scrolling through my FB newsfeed, I noticed a testimony from another friend about her college-aged daughter's battle with cancer, and I thought to myself, "Wow, I didn't know."

I moved into a different house in June, and for over two months, I casually smiled, waved, and spoke to my neighbor.  I always noticed his children and their grandmother, but I never saw his wife.  Last week, he walked to the fence and informed me that his wife had been released to hospice.  My response, "Hospice? I had no idea your wife was ill!"  That very same day, she made her transition.

Yesterday, I opened my Facebook app to a beautiful picture of a high school friend.  Someone liked the photo, and I liked it too.  Then, as I continued to scroll, I noticed several people were liking and reposting her photos, and I just continued to like them too.  Finally, in the midst of scrolling I ran into a simple message from my dear brother, her husband, that stated, "With extreme sadness I must say that the love of my life passed away."  Again, my response, "I didn't know."

How often do you see someone, talk to someone, or read a social media update about someone and say to yourself, "I didn't know."  How often do we not know a friend has lost a spouse, has a child incarcerated, caring for an ill parent, battling a health diagnosis, or just struggling in some aspect of life.  How often do we hear of someone dying and our first reaction is, "I had no idea he was sick," or "I didn't know she was 'that' sick."

With the advancement in technology and a plethora of friends and family at our fingertips, why is it still so hard for us to remain "In the Know" when it comes to the needs of our sisters and brothers?  How easy is it to pick up a phone, make a phone call, drop a text, send a message, or simply drive by the house of a loved one.  Why are we so connected, yet so disconnected when it matters the most?

Beginning today, I'm going to make every effort to become more aware and in-tune to the needs of those around me.  I have to be more specific in praying and tarrying for the people I don't see everyday. I no longer want to endure this guilt of "not knowing" simply because I didn't take the time to press my pause button, reach out, and check in.  We can't be so busy, caught up in our own whirlwind of "stuff" that we miss opportunities to love on those around us.  Let's transfer some of the time and energy we spend on highlighting ourselves, and extend a check-up or check-in on someone else.

I encourage you to grab your phone, scroll through your contacts or Facebook friend list, and reach out to someone you haven't heard from in a while.  If you don't know what to say, you can start with, "Hello, friend.  How are you? I'm thinking about you and sending love your way."

Let's Reconnect!

Peace and Blessings,
Mama Tameka

RIP, Stacy